Westley Willem

For a week I’d been in labor. Nothing painful. Nothing particularly promising. I had several 5-8 hour stretches of contractions every 6-20 minutes. On Friday the 7^th I thought for sure I was in labor. I had Jason stay home just in case, I was having a hard time watching Baxter anyway. But no, just a wasted day of paternity leave.

On Saturday we decided to make it family day. We walked around Whatcom Falls park. It was beautiful. Baxter kept collecting sticks, and then Jason taught him how to throw rocks into the creek. They were both adorable. I was pretty sore and swollen after we got home. Sunday was Mother’s Day and my “estimated due date”, and I was too tired to do anything. So we had a lazy day at home. Jason realized he had messed something up from Friday, and wanted to fix it on Monday. He told me I couldn’t go into labor yet. We had a great weekend as a family, and as Jason went to school on Monday he said “everything is ready, you can have the baby after school.”

Just after 2am on Tuesday, May 11^th I woke up to go to the bathroom. While I was up I had a contraction. By 2:25 I’d had 3 more. I decided to time them and quickly realized they were 3 minutes apart. I just knew it was time. I called my doula Jen, and took a shower while Jason called our sitter and the midwives. In the shower the contractions picked up more. But I still got out, did my hair, and even put on (waterproof) mascara. I remembered thinking “there will be pictures, it won’t take long, just look decent!” This whole time I had Lady Gaga’s song “Bad Romance” running through my head. I’m not a huge Lady Gaga fan, but earlier in the day someone had posted an a cappella version from YouTube on facebook, and it was stuck. Badly. I got through my contractions by going with it, singing in my head and dancing to them. Hey, it helped! I’ll take it. We got to the birth center about 3am. I knew it was time, but I was enjoying myself.

Jen and C (my midwife) were there waiting for me. There was another birth in the big room down the hall, so I got the medium sized room. Perfect, it was my favorite one anyway! I got through a few contractions standing, and then did a few on all fours over some pillows on the bed. Jen did some amazing back massage that totally helped put me in the mood and relax my body. Hire a doula. Seriously. You won’t regret it. C checked me, and I was between 5-6cm, closer to 6. I know I didn’t go from 1-6 in just over an hour, all that painless (but irritating) pre-labor the week before had prepared my body. I joked about the song in my head, and made it easily though contractions. It was just so peaceful. The lights were dim, but it wasn’t dark. A few candles were lit next to the tub. It was the perfect temperature, not too warm, not chilly. The windows were open, and I could hear the birds outside. I remember being COLD the entire time I was in the hospital with Baxter.

I kept feeling like I was hungry, but I wouldn’t be able to hold anything down if I tried. About 4 I was feeling ready to get in the tub. They filled it up and I got in just about 4:15 or so. At least these are the times that I remember, but they could be off. Time seemed to stand still once I got in the tub. It was so peaceful and serene. I was still having contractions, and part of me was worried that they had slowed down. I felt like I had 10 minutes of relaxing and joking around between contractions. But no, they were still just as regular. I relaxed leaning back on the tub for a while. And I spent some time on my knees and the side of the tub. Being in the warm water took away so much pain, but soon I was toning through contractions. I had no idea my body had decided to step it up, because I was feeling so much better than before. Ahh the power of warm water! C was laying on the bed resting, while Jason held my hand and Jen helped me through contractions with gentle words and counter pressure on my lower back.

Active labor continued for a while. I had a handful of peanuts and raisins from the trail mix I brought, and that helped a ton for my energy. Jason and Jen kept me hydrated. I remember telling them that this must be transition, because I’m ready to be done now. I remember not getting surly, but losing my sense of humor. It was starting to get painful! I started blowing through contractions instead of just toning. I moved onto my hands and knees, and occasionally went back to my knees and the side of the tub. I kept reminding myself that yes, even though my ankles are getting a tad uncomfortable, I’m letting gravity help me. I didn’t want to move back to my back and restrict the birth canal with my tailbone. I did my research! It still wasn’t nearly as painful as I remember Baxter’s birth being. With Baxter there were some very strong contractions that I could only get through by thinking “if I wait a little bit longer it will be too late to get drugs.” I couldn’t use that mantra this time, so instead I just kept singing that stupid song over and over in my head. I don’t even know all the lyrics, just part of the chorus. The same 20 seconds repeated in my head countless times (Well, no more than 810 times, since my labor was 16,200 seconds long… yes I married a math nerd). Great, now writing this up has it stuck in my head again. I can’t say enough about Jen through this stage. She kept up the counter pressure on my back through contractions. When I was on my hands and knees the pain caused me to want to arch my back away from the pain, but with her gentle but firm hands keeping me in alignment it was so much easier. I wasn’t having back pain, but having a child going through your birth canal isn’t ever a delight. She helped me remember to breath and tone low, and not whine. She whispered encouraging thoughts, and reminded me to relax. Little things. Jason was my rock. I needed him there, holding my hand. Reminding me that he was there for me. But Jen was my internal voice when I couldn’t think on my own.

Back to the story. In the room next door, the other mama started pushing. I could hear her, envious. I wanted to be her at that moment. As soon as I heard her baby cry for the first time, my body kicked into high gear. It was like a primal trigger. With Baxter, because of hospital politics and a change of nurses right as I was entering the pushing stage of labor, I never really experienced what pushing felt like.

With Baxter, I knew I was fully dilated, but my body wasn’t contracting. I think it was my body’s way of telling me “you’re not ready, take a small break” but the incoming nurse wasn’t happy with the monitoring. She thought that I would need a c-section. Even though my doctor and previous (awesome) nurse knew I was doing well. She just knew I was having a big baby, and assumed the worst. She had called in the on-call OB (my doctor is family practice) and additional nurses, and wanted me prepped for c-section. I just remember the terror of that possibility, and I started pushing without my body’s cooperation. I amazed everyone in the room, and used “purple pushing” to power Baxter out of my body in 30 minutes. He was 9lbs and 11oz and gave me almost 4^th degree tears. I wasn’t allowed to listen to my body with him. That was the main reason I chose to do a birth center birth this time.

Back to Tuesday. It was just about 6:35 or so. Our sitter for Baxter had to leave at 7:30, so Jen and Jason were asking who I wanted to leave at 7 to transfer Baxter to our day sitters. I told them to ask again in 5 minutes. I kept feeling like my body might be getting ready to push, but I wasn’t sure. I asked my midwife if it was ok if I pushed. C responded “Oh, I thought you already were!” She didn’t feel the need to check me, she was allowing my body to do what my body needed to do. How reassuring. And a little daunting! So this is what pushing is when your body takes over…. The pushing was PAINFUL. Much worse than with Baxter. But this time I was listening to my body, and not the 9 people in the room urging me to just do it. I could feel my body stretching. The “ring of fire” as the baby’s head crowning. I was told to slow down, let your body do it, instead of having a random person counting at me to keep bearing down. I remember three contractions where I pushed. But between the three contractions, I could feel the baby moving down the birth canal and slowly stretching me as I breathed out. It hurt so much less to just breathe and let my body do it on it’s own. After two pushes, his head was out. A third, and he was here! It was 6:47, 12 minutes of pushing, and only a few minutes longer than I asked for. I turned around and leaned back on the tub as they unwound his cord. They gave him to me and I remember just thinking how beautiful he was. He cried a tiny bit, and then opened his eyes, lifted his head (and amazed the midwives) and looked at me. I was in love. Westley Willem was here. Jason and I looked at him, smitten. He looked nothing like his brother did at birth. He was himself.

The midwives (K had arrived by that point to assist in the actual birth) gave us our time, and unobtrusively checked him and I out. We took off my tank top (since it was damp and making Westley cold) and 18 minutes after giving birth, Westley latched on with no assistance. A perfect latch. My amazing doula took photos with my camera the whole time. I just set it up at the beginning and told her how to use it. She did an amazing job, and I’ll treasure them forever. On top of that, she grabbed Jason’s keys and went to pick up Baxter.

After the placenta was delivered, and the cord finally cut, we moved up onto the bed. I rested there, nursing Westley for a good hour. Jen brought in Baxter. Baxter did NOT know what to think. He attached himself to Jen and wouldn’t let go. He wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. Eventually he consented to letting Jason hold him. After about an hour C did the newborn exam and weighed Westley. 9lbs, 7oz, 21” long. Same size head as Baxter, and only 4 ounces lighter. Also 7 days earlier!

I relaxed at the birth center for a few hours before deciding it was time to head home after Baxter knocked over a table, spilling water and juice all over himself and everything else. A birth center is NOT a place for an active toddler. Who wants the door open at all times, even if his mom is laying naked on a bed. And wants to go in and see the other family who just had a baby. I got checked out really quick. One very minor tear, that didn’t even require stitches. In fact, it corrected what was over corrected last time! I was pretty swollen, but I was swollen from before so that was no surprise.

Overall, I cannot say enough good things about our birth center birth. I would love a homebirth next time. I would have this time, but the rental townhouse we are in now is not set up well for a homebirth. I knew I wanted a waterbirth, and our defective hot water tank and no where to put a tub made the birth center preferable. To make things even more fun, about 2.5 hours after I gave birth to Westley, we put a contract in on our first home. Our contract is now accepted, and we’ll be closing sometime in August. And the master bathroom already has a tub that’s perfect for number three…. In several more years.

Westley is now 4 days old. He’s the happiest newborn. So calm and content. He’s a great nursling. He’s a little piglet though, my milk came in on day two, after a night of 8 hours straight of nursing. I haven’t gotten engorged or leaked at all, thanks to his diligent efforts. He only sleeps well while being held, hence why it’s taken me so long to write this. He’s currently snuggling with daddy. But now I miss him, and I’m all weepy from writing this. I hope there’s not too many errors, because I don’t want to go back and edit it! Enjoy. I hope that reading about Westley’s birth inspires you to look into water births, midwives, and doulas for your future children. After having an “intervention free” hospital birth, I can tell you, there’s really no comparison.